Ethan's First Day of "School"

Today was Ethan's first day at the STEPS program, a local program for mostly 2 year olds with special needs. It was a really rough morning for Ethan and I. There were lots of tears and Jeff and I stayed the entire time 9am - noon. We will try again on Thursday -- it will just be Ethan and I the next time. Hopefully we can make this work and it can be an enjoyable and positive experience for Ethan.

I think one of the reasons that I was really overwhelmed is that it seemed like so many of the kids in his class are doing so much more than Ethan. There are nine kids in total and more than half are either walking independently or with just a bit of assistance. Almost all of the kids could sit in little rifton chairs for snack time and most are doing some form of self-feeding, some even with utensils! Almost all the kids sat in the rifton chairs for circle time at the end of the day with no problem and seemed to enjoy beating on the drum and the signing of songs, etc. I know that Ethan is very delayed, but it was so hard today to see when even compared to other kids with special needs how far behind he really is. Just another slap in the face about the reality of this horrible disorder and what it is stealing from Ethan and from us.

Please pray that we can find a way to make the adaptations needed at STEPS so that this can work for Ethan and be a really positive experience for our family. I think that Ethan can learn a lot of things, especially by having peer role models and learning that it is okay to be away from me, but I'm a bit concerned. I had very high hopes for the day, and things just didn't go as smoothly as I had thought that they would. We'll let you know how Thursday goes.


  1. Pam, even though I have no experience in your situation, I can understand some of the things you are feeling. From your blog today I do know one thing that Ethan is doing right on time. That is being anxious about being away from you. Ethan has made some huge strides in the past couple of months. I continue to pray for Ethan and your family daily. Ethan will do all the things he is meant to do, in his own time.


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